So I woke up this morning and went straight to Facebook to vent, lol. I have copied and pasted my Facebook update below to sort of make up for all those days I was too lazy to come here. I think by this I may be slowly losing my ‘faceless-ness’, lol. There you go…
Okay so I have not exactly been ‘audible’ on Facebook for sometime now and I think that should give me a right to rant, yeah? Cool.
I stayed up late last night to read random news as per I have a holiday today and there was really no point sleeping early + I had to catch up on the world, seeing as I was far behind happenings and times. And oh boy, catch up did I.
First things first, how did we sleep and watch things get so horribly messy around these sides, eh? All I seemed to read about were vices; pure evil, wickedness, greed, lies, corruption, cheating spouses, etc. but there were a few that specially ministered to my already aching heart and opened my eyes to realise that I am probably the only sane person I know (everyone is allowed to speak for themselves here), I don’t know what the next person ‘smokes’ for a living. Back to the matter, I thought it was an established fact that RAPE is plain evil and there is no justification here or anywhere else for that matter for it. News flash: if you think the rapist is evil, let me add here that the one justifying rape on behalf of the rapist with nonsense like ‘indecent dressing’ is the devil himself. The sad part is how it is usually women that come up with rubbish talk like that. The same way it is women that blame women when husbands cheat or just generally misbehave, the gist is usually, “you did this” or “…didn’t do that”. I’m not sure whether to weep or cry sha.
The other day I was crying about how there is so much hypocrisy in the society that it forgets to teach/raise/train male kids (apologies if this doesn’t apply to you. I don’t mean to generalise as I know of parents that have raised well-balanced CHILDREN. We’ll be here for a long time if I start calling them out), instead the focus is on the girl child. And even then it is not out of love for the girl or in obedience to the holy book’s teaching on training a child the way he should go, it is usually from some place of pride, “I raised a ‘marry-able’ girl”. The girl has to learn to cook, clean, submit, dress decently (to attract ‘right’ husband and to avoid being raped), not to argue, not to have a voice, look away when her husband’s urge takes him away, forgive when a man hits her, etc. So she learns all these things and is ready for marriage to apply them rules, but guess what? Who is she going to marry? The one that has learnt nothing. So she gets married, holds her end of the deal like she was taught, but with the man having no deal whatsoever, he deals as he likes – cheating, hitting, etc. Not so bad, yea? She can leave him, right? Errm actually NO! She has a vow to keep, remember? Because it is the singular duty of a woman to keep a vow, lol. Hello! The vow was broken the moment the other person cheated or hit you or something, what you are holding unto after that is a place to live and not any vow as there is no more vow (feel free to disagree with me sha). I’m not saying y’all can’t fix your marriages or forgive each other oh, but the fixing should be done by the two parties involved and not just one party, especially not the one that has been/is being oppressed.
We live in a society where common sense is not so common after all, wickedness and inhumanity are disguised as culture or religion, the evil we perpetrate under these umbrellas, ehn? Thank God for His mercies. I love how we can interpret the bible as we like, cool stuff, yea? Just remember that God cannot be mocked. I have met some ‘christian’ men and the only verse they know in the bible is the verse on submission, they can’t be bothered about the verses preceding or following that one. Can you blame them? Is that not all they’ve heard around them? Their grandmothers used it as advice to their mothers, their fathers were constantly reminding their mothers about how she failed to submit every now and then, their mothers gossiped with friends about how they were happily married because of it (bearing in mind that happily married actually means still living under the same roof with husband), oh such great news! Don’t lie, if it was you too, you will desire the same submission from your wife now. The one that allows you to do all manner of evil and still win because your wife has a duty to submit and a vow to keep. Trust me, I will desire it too. So they grow up spreading the news of submission as well. Being a Christian myself (the type that tries to actually study the bible and not the type that inherited Christianity from the generations before me), I have studied this whole love/submission thing and trust me, it is not as sweet as it looks. Especially not for the men sef, but that gist is for who wan know sha. So hey, that’s the society as we have found it and who born me to change it? (You will soon know!)
The things I read last night plenty sha, from legal system to corruption to the change process, etc. but these ones I have discussed entered me differently. I am upset that I didn’t write my thoughts at the time because I didn’t really remember most of it this morning, but I tried sha.
So I need to end all my plenty talk with a summary. Parenting is responsibility, all it takes to birth a child is sex between a male and a female (well there are more ways though, but you get the message), however being a parent is a lot more than that. There is no underestimating the role of the family in building a better society. We are here shouting change, a thousand Buharis cannot change Nigeria if we are not willing to accept change… Starting from the way we raise our CHILDREN (male and female). Teach children boundaries, respect, values, social skills, commitment, empathy, love (for themselves & others), responsibility, the fear of God (if you believe in God), confidence, etc and see if things will not change for the better. People will understand that the girl walking naked on the street has not invited anyone to her body, hence her refusal to invite must be respected. Or that the wife is a partner, friend, human capable of understanding and being understood, not a property, slave, cleaner, or respect-producing-machine. That she too can say no to sex and this does not give permission to force her or to go to Miss Back-up. That the country’s money may pass through your hands for some reason but it doesn’t give you a right to take some from it. And so on and so forth. My dear people, it is not rocket science, it is common sense, one that most of us are not taught because it doesn’t help us to be ‘better’ wives. I have a christian angle to this my story, but I’ll leave that for the appropriate audience.
Meanwhile, like everything I have ever written, I am not an authority, as a matter of fact, I don’t know anything (to further prove how much I don’t know, see how I talked about marriage and I’m not even married. Lol). This post may offend some and excite some others, neither reaction was my intention. I observed and gave my two kobo. Y’all can join voices with me both in agreement and disagreement, you are very welcome as I’m all for learning.
PS. I just hope that I don’t have all those Facebook friends that don’t know how to disagree politely, they must fight. Biko if you come here like that, you are on your own oh! Plus feel free to point out gbagauns, I’m not a professional writer!